Comforting Your Inner Child
Have you ever had a memory flash before your eyes, of that one time when someone said something to you when you were younger and it made you really upset? Or of that one time when someone made fun of you when you were doing something to the best of your ability or being spontaneous?
These memories come back to us for a reason. No matter how small they may seem or insignificant, they have shaped your beliefs growing up. I will give you an example. I was doing an exercise from a self-help book, and the questions asked about my limiting or negative beliefs which have stopped me from pursuing my goals. In the exact moment when I finished reading the question, a memory popped into my head. I was dancing at a class party in elementary school, really rocking out to a song I liked, and I overheard two boys from my class comment on my dancing : “Look at that cow trying to dance”.
I earned the nickname of cow in school because of my freckles. In that instance, I knew they were talking about me. I remember my heart sinking in that moment, and me not moving for the rest of the party.
Reflecting back on that time, a few beliefs formed in my subconscious right there and then:
– I was not a good dancer
– I should not let my wild and carefree self out into the world
– I was not good enough
That memory haunted me for many years. Whenever it popped into my head at a random moment, I used to push it back and try to forget it. It continued to set me back in life, without me even realizing it.
Luckily, I no longer ignore my childhood memories. Here is why:
– These memories come back for a reason.
– It is our inner child and our subconscious, sending us a message, that that part of our life was significant.
Please don’t ignore them and continue to enable these moments to set you back.
Here is what I did when that memory came up for me during the exercise. I put on a Shakira song “Whenever, Wherever” because I remember dancing to that in elementary school. I put it on and danced butt off. While I was dancing, I cried a little, I laughed and I talked to my inner child. I told her that she should never hide who she was, just because of a silly comment made by young careless boys. I told her that she’s a beautiful and talented lady and that she should set herself free and let herself shine. As I spoke to her, I could feel a weight being lifted off my shoulders.
If you have any memories that continue to come up for you, I highly suggest you internally or externally speak to yourself, at whatever age you were back then. Explain the situation in a very loving and caring way to your inner child. You may be surprised, how healing such conversations could be.
Sometimes one conversation may not be enough. You may need to revisit that moment multiple times to finally heal. I’ve tried healing this issue before, even made a picture of a cow my wallpaper on my computer, but to my surprise it came up again. Be patient with yourself. This is not a race. Life and healing are about progress, not perfection.